Dolphin Transformation Ritual

This ritual transforms you into a dolphin

Procedure

 * 1) Fill a bowl with saltwater
 * 2) Place a quartz crystal in the bowl
 * 3) Place both hands on the bowl and chant "Dear Dolphine, god of dolphins, I wish to become a dolphin. I wish to serve you for as long as I shall live. Fuse my legs together into a long, gray dolphin tail. Shrink my legs and arms into nothingness. Sprout me two sets of gills on the sides of my neck, turn me into a dolphin. Make my body grow two flippers and a beautiful shiny dorsal fin, transform me into a dolphin. Stretch my mouth into a snout, with rows of beautiful sharp teeth, transform me into a dolphin. I will forget everything about my human past and I will never regret being a dolphin. I will obey my master and always do as he says. I will be stuck as a dolphin forever and will never regret it. This is my wish, I ask of thee, this is my will, so more it be"